Dominique

So I was reading a book by a philosopher named Crosby, who is a Catholic philosopher that actually teaches at the University that I attended. And there was one moment I was sitting in my room, and I read the line…which he was quoting that said “The greatest freedom of a human being is the freedom to choose to except or reject themselves. The greatest human freedom is to except or reject the gift of yourself.” And up until that point in my life, I’ve always struggled with self-esteem and with excepting myself and finding value and worth in myself.  And in reading this philosophical text that was saying, “You exist. And you are unique. You are a person that  has been created as a gift. You did not will yourself into being. You did not make yourself exist by any active wheel or anything. And you can either choose to say yes to your existence, or no to your existence and to fight it.” And I guess up until that point I had really been fighting it. I’d been saying “Well, it’s great that I exist I guess but I want to change myself. I want to be different. I want to be this person. I want to be that person. Maybe I’ll be acceptable if I do x, y, and z. If I get good grades. If I lose weight. If I do this or that. If I get a perfect boyfriend or whatever” but…in that moment I realized that it’s saying “yes” to who I am. Saying “yes” to my soul. I can’t wish myself another life. I can’t wish myself a better body, a better family. But I can say “yes” to what God has given me, and then I can work from there. And by saying “yes” to this life, saying “yes” to my soul, and my body, then I can learn how to make myself more in-line with what God wants. Make myself into someone… more fully alive by accepting my gifts and talents and accepting even my weaknesses and looking at them and saying, “Ok, how can I improve on this?” instead of completely rejecting myself. So, that was a really big moment.